Common mistakes Americans make in France (and how to avoid them)
I’ll admit it—I have fallen victim to some stupid “American traveler” mistakes. We all have! But I’m including this list for those of you who might like having the awareness and avoid potential embarrassment/regrets in certain situations. I honestly wished I’d had this resource in a few instances, so I’m hoping it will help you too!
1. SPEAKING ONLY ENGLISH AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU
I totally get that we English-speakers think that everyone in the world must speak a little bit of English but unfortunately, it’s just not always the case. And expecting people to know it automatically can come off as snobby or rude. I’ve actually seen Americans speak LOUDER to get their point across to a foreigner. Yikes! Normally, in most tourist-centric locations, employees will know a some English, but it’s always polite to assume otherwise.
Your best bet is to learn how to say “Do you speak English?” or “Parlez-vous anglais?” That’s a good base to let others know that you’d like to have a conversation in your native tongue and is the nice thing to do. If you’d like to learn even more French, I suggest studying up on this blog post to learn a few key phrases which will do wonders for your trip experience.
2. BEING UNAWARE OF THOSE AROUND YOU
Speaking of loudness, this will almost always equal rudeness in France and being respectful of those around you is a big deal here. You’ll notice that most restaurants are particularly quiet. People keep their voices down so that you can have actual conversations. The restaurants keep the music low for this reason as well. It’s honestly so refreshing to dine in France after having lived in NYC where I’ve had shouting matches with friends over a meal because the decibel level was so high.
Another place that people use their “quiet voices” is in theaters. No one, I mean no one talks to their friends or to the screen in France. You’ll actually get shushed if do. And people even eat their candy and popcorn discreetly so others can have a pleasant theater-going experience.
Don’t get me started on loud voices on the streets. I’m regularly embarrassed for my people when I see a group of American tourists discussing, laughing, arguing, what-have-you at an over-the-top level. I know you think you’re talking in your “normal” voice but to Frenchies, we’re really really loud so just be aware.
And lastly, I have to say it: be conscious of selfie-taking. Yeah, ok. You’re a tourist and you don’t care if you look like one and take endless photos of yourself. If you don’t mind locals thinking you’re nuts, that’s ok too. But if you want to avoid criticism, weird looks and general disgust from others, do it when no one else is around. And out of respect, don’t take your photo with others in the background.
3. MAKING NEGATIVE COMMENTS
We all know the saying “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” These are actually great words to live by. Sure we all have opinions about the way people do things, what a place looks like, if something isn’t up to our standards, and so on if it’s different from what we know or understand. But speaking out loud about them is offensive. I know I just said not everyone speaks english and might not understand you, but maybe they will and even in another language, tone can be easy to read.
A good example to share was when I first moved to France and took my mom on a little tour. I was still a total newbie and managed to miss the lunch hour which is very easy to do in France if you’re not aware (see my post here about restaurant culture). We were starving and annoyed. As we were making frustrated comments, I noticed some locals looking at us inquisitively. Out of pity for the angry American tourists, a lady pointed to a boulangerie serving sandwiches (but I could tell what she was really thinking). Again, it wasn’t a good look.
4. EXPECTING SERVICE LIKE YOU’RE USED TO
The service industry in France is very different from the U.S. Workers are not paid in tips and thus, there is not that extra incentive to be extra friendly or bubbly for a generous tip. Servers are simply doing a job and will not always go out of their way for you. This can be a hard pill to swallow if you’re used to things being a certain way, but it is how it is.
Also, things move muuuuch slower. There is not a need to fill tables and to get people in and out. People will dine for up to 4 hours in France. There is absolutely no rush! But this can also mean longer wait times. I’ve had my share of frustrations simply waiting for a menu or a glass of water (which isn’t always offered… you usually have to ask). My best advice is to just go with it and understand that things are simply different elsewhere. C’est la vie!
5. TIPPING TOO MUCH
Speaking of working for tips, as mentioned, in Europe it isn’t required or even customary to tip like it is in the US. This took some getting used to for me. I was so accustomed to leaving 20% at every restaurant or bar that it felt really weird to leave nothing. But that’s completely normal here. Granted, if you feel like you received good service, it’s nice to leave up to 10%. Or if you just can’t go without giving a tip, it’s totally fine to leave some remaining small change if you paid in cash. Servers might be surprised but happy.
6. EXPECTING AN AUTOMATIC CAR AND NOT GETTING THE GPS
Most all cars in Europe are standard (or stick shift) and when renting a car, a standard is well, standard. If you want an automatic, be sure to ask or reserve it specifically. Sadly, you’ll also pay a premium for automatic cars but if that’s what you’re used to, definitely do it.
If you don’t plan on getting an international phone plan so that you can use google maps or waze, you’ll want to pay the extra for the GPS navigation from the rental company. Trying to navigate new roads with a road map while driving will likely lead to arguments and frustration. My mom made this mistake and got super lost trying to find a remote site she wanted to visit. She still talks about losing out on that experience and wished she’d just paid extra for the damn GPS.
7. GETTING TIMES AND DATES WRONG
Most Americans tend to forget that hours in Europe are written as military time. So be sure to understand this when you have reservations, a train or plane to catch, or anything else time-related for that matter. It’s a good idea to switch the time setting on your phone so that you can start to understand how to read military time and make sure you don’t miss that appointment/reservation/train.
If that’s not confusing enough, Europe spells out their dates a bit backwards. So March 10th is written 10/03 or November 12th is 12/11. Not the way Americans are used to. This is another good pitfall to be aware of when making bookings for certain dates.
8. PLANNING TO SEE/DO TOO MUCH
I’ve definitely been a victim of this one. It instantly conjures my solo trip to India, an enormous country that I thought I could “do” in 5 weeks. What a joke! Thinking about how much packing and unpacking I did, how many trains, planes and buses I boarded and how many different beds I slept in boggles my mind. Had I just stayed put in one of my favorite spots or simply planned on visiting one region, I think I would have enjoyed my adventures much more. Instead, I was rushing around trying to see and do it all. It was exhausting. Sure, I saw a lot. But did I really get a feeling for anywhere in particular? No!
I get it. When you have a limited amount of time to spend on a holiday and when you take a long haul flight, it’s totally understandable to want to pack it in and do it all. But believe me—you won’t enjoy yourself and you’ll likely need a vacation from your vacation. I like to suggest staying put in one particular area to get the vibe of a place. You’ll feel more relaxed, get a better taste and understanding of your surroundings, and connect a little deeper to the place. Slow travel is where it’s at!
9. PACKING TOO MUCH
This one brings back another memory. I was traveling to Amsterdam with a friend who had never been to Europe before. When I went to pick her up before our flight, she was lugging an enormous suitcase outside. Mind you, our trip itinerary included train travel and a few different nights in different locations. Just seeing her struggle with that gigantic case from her door to the car, I immediately saw red flags. I asked “what the f do you have in there?” She basically packed her entire bathroom—hair dryer, huge bottles of toiletries, a travel iron, not to mention an outfit and shoes for any possible occasion. I warned her it was not a good idea but she insisted it was fine.
Cut to arriving to our first hotel with a 4 floor walk-up with no elevator. You can just imagine her cursing the whole way up. It wasn’t fun. And don’t get me started on her maneuvering that thing on the trains. Dealing with that monster suitcase made a lot of the trip miserable for both of us.
Best lesson learned: pack light! You can almost always find whatever you may need or have forgotten in any number of shops in Europe.
10. NOT KEEPING AN EYE ON YOUR VALUABLES
Being safe when traveling is pretty common sense. But I simply wanted to warn you to keep a close eye on your phones, computers, cameras, etc when traveling on trains, buses and metros. Sadly, I’ve had 3 friends have their valuables stolen on long train rides in France. In two instances, they had fallen asleep with their phones in sight. When they woke up, POOF, the phones were gone. Another friend had her laptop in a case in the compartment just above her and she was also a victim of theft after falling asleep.
I don’t mean to scare people but theft is real and happens all the time. It’s best to keep your valuable property very secure. I recommend using a small padlock on backpacks which you can either keep under your seat and/or around your ankle. Also be sure to keep your phones or other valuable items out of sight if you feel like you may fall asleep. While riding buses and metros in larger cities, wear your backpack on your front, wear your purse across your body, and think about using a small lock on zippers to avoid pickpockets. I don’t want to be an alarmist but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
