Being stuck at home for the better half of a year has had its challenges for everyone. I don’t deny that my specific situation has been a fortunate and privileged one. I’ve got a roof over my head and food in the fridge. I have a wonderful partner who loves to cook. I’ve lost 85% of my work for the year but luckily can still pay my bills. I most certainly count my blessings. But if you’re like me - one who thrives on planning their next voyage, packing a bag and hopping on a train or plane to explore a new destination, someone who can’t stand the mundane routines of daily life - this time has been really rough. Since March I’ve said that it seems as if I’m living through a version of Groundhog Day doing the SAME DAMN THINGS day in and day out.

But there have been some silver linings too. We bought our little van, toured around France for about 5 weeks and discovered some truly amazing spots. I managed to keep my business afloat postponing events to 2021 and worked on some micro gatherings in the meantime. My husband and I conquered many DIY home projects and we did a lot of cooking!

As a creative person it’s been particularly challenging to get motivated during this time. I thought I would have all the time in the world to crank out new work. Maybe I’d write that screenplay from that idea I scribbled on a cocktail napkin. Maybe I’d get around to putting together the photo books that have been on the back burner forever. Maybe finally I’d learn how to sing. So many options, so much time! I see others flourishing on my insta feed sharing their exceptional talents, turing covid into their time. Those productive show-offs just made me feel worse.

In retrospect, my anxiety over the pandemic, that vague depressive cloud that hung over my head each morning and the shear worry for the world at large had the better of my creative brain. I managed to do yoga most mornings, a bit of meditation, some zoom dance classes, made plenty of random dessert concoctions, did the occasional morning pages in my journal but ultimately, it was really difficult to self-motivate.

The one outlet that worked for me was participating in an online photography workshop with one of my favorite portrait photographers Richard Renaldi. I was actually supposed to take a week long workshop with him in Mexico last summer but that obviously got the kibosh. When I found out he was doing the workshop online I jumped at the chance. I was nervous to be critiqued weekly by a master photographer and my fellow students but it was a super opportunity to force myself to shoot and work on the hobby that gives me so much joy. Going through some of the work I made and put out there makes me realize that when you push yourself a bit, sometimes you can find the light in the darkness.