An American expat in France
Je Ne Sais Rien !
Life as an expat has its rewards but also its challenges. I’ve been living in France going on 6 years now. The first few were definitely a struggle. I loved it but also rejected it at the same time. There was so much newness and excitement but nothing was easy or felt familiar. For some crazy reason I thought I would pick up French easily and whoa, was I wrong! Not only is it a difficult language to learn but trying get a tired, old brain to memorize a million new verb conjugations and the difference between le and la is no picnic. Though I know others who picked up French pretty easily, I’m convinced I wasn’t born with the language gene. I’m much better now (B2 baby!) but I have to work really hard at it and let go of my perfectionism. AND I have that horrible human condition that if I’m not naturally good at something, I want to give up. Sadly, that is not an option here if you want to actually communicate with people.
Beginners A1 French class at the University of Nantes (this was me excited before I realized how f-ing hard it was!)
The wallflower
As an only child, I learned the valuable skill of making friends easily if I wanted company. I enjoy my independence and value my solo time but I’m a natural extrovert and have always kept a wide circle of friendships wherever I go. Moving to France has been a constant lesson in humility. Once the life of the party, my adopted personality became the shy, awkward wallflower.
In my French life fantasy, I was planning to make loads of new French friends winning them over with my offbeat American personality. I was sure they would be lining up to take me out to cute cafes and quirky cinemas, teaching me how to embrace la vie en rose. Sadly, this was not the case. I figured maybe something was wrong with me, that my exaggerated facial expressions just didn’t translate or threw them off. After some time my bruised ego recovered when I finally came to realize that it just takes a bit longer to integrate into French circles and make friends. I’m even more understanding of why immigrants tend to stick to their own in foreign countries. After a couple of years of being the girl who laughs a little too eagerly at the jokes a little too late, I’ll admit that most of the friends I’ve made here are also expats. And that’s ok! I used to beat myself up for not having more French friends but I’ve come to understand that I’m a lot more fun (and myself) in my own language. My circle is much smaller but the relationships are solid which is another thing I’ve come to appreciate.
Features & benefits
Language and friendship aside, living in France has been a huge learning curve but with so many rewards. I truly admire those brave soles who have moved to a foreign country on their own. I don’t know what I would do without my husband handling the mountain of French red tape, getting me set up with a residency card, a bank account, a mobile phone plan, health insurance, etc. Once the life necessities are handled, living here has so many benefits.
I’ve come to truly appreciate the socialized health care. It’s very affordable (compared to what I was used to back home) and quite good. My health seems the best it’s ever been since I eat so well! We buy fresh from the farmers markets and fill our bags with organic produce for less than half the prices I used to pay in New York. And I hardly throw out any unused food like I used to. Now, I walk 1 block to the bakery to buy my daily bread, to the wine shop for dirt cheap delicious local wines and to the adorable epicerie (grocery store) for fresh natural products. And the butter and cheeses are made of my dreams.
To top it off, I sleep better than I ever did thanks to the genius invention of les volets (why don’t we have blackout shutters in the US?). I’m not obsessed with my finances and buying excessive stuff I don’t need. I work to live, not the other way around. I’m much more balanced in mind, body and esprit.
Despite the obvious challenges of moving to a new country, I’ve learned to appreciate this country for what the French call la joie de vivre. They truly embrace the joys of life and I’ve come to as well.
